Autism & Children

Rituals and stereotypes are very present with autistic children. If it is possible to try to explain to an autistic adult why it would be better not to follow up rituals, it becomes more complicated when dealing with an autistic child, but not less important.

For a long time, Matthieu has been flapping his arms each time he was glad (almost every two minutes- we’ve got a very happy child, that’s really great, but we had to do something against the flapping). We asked him so much to stop flapping by holding his arms gently that he almost ended up quitting this ritual. He sometimes does it again, but it is a rare occurance, and a simple reminder is enough to make him aware not to do so.

He needed time for that too, but he almost stopped opening and closing doors and wardrobes, turning the light on and off – at least at home, where I’m making sure it won’t happen. However, at the day care centre, where the child minders are less “fascist” than me, he sometimes does that although they had forbidden him doing so. Despite my permission to be strict with him, scold him and restrain him if it is necessary, I noticed that he spends a while on that every time he goes there. If the child minders go on being not strict enough, he will go on forever with these stereotypes.

These days, Matthieu claims to have to pee as soon as we enter a new place. While I was glad that Matthieu could ask to go to the toilet whenever we go out, I quickly noticed that it has become a ritual too. So last week, after consulting my therapists’ team, I decided not to allow Matthieu to go to the toilet when he enters a new place, mostly if he has been to one before coming. Our intention is not to break his future autonomy, but to make him understand that the toilet is not a compulsory step to go through whenever we get into a new place.

Translation: Sihem Boussabat