Autism & Children

There are so many things to know once we suddenly become a parent of an autistic child, while a week ago, we thought that our child was just having a simple delay in speech or movement. It is with a frightening suddenness that we let ourselves hoodwinked just because we are still ignorant – as a result, our autistic child is not really offered all the assets that he could benefit from.

“Your child is too young”: FALSE

It is obvious that at six months old, making clear diagnoses of autism is quite hard. However, we can diagnose autism from eighteen months old on, and the earlier it is done, the better it is for the child to be well taken care of; it also lets you receive the allowances you need to pay for support and therapies.

Autism is not a disease: it can’t be caught. We are born with.
Autism is not a sickness: it can’t be cured: we can just help our child become autonomous and progress.
If an autistic child is not helped and gets no support or therapies, he will not make any progress.
Each year spent while waiting for the diagnose to come up, is a year that we waste.

“It’s your fault if your child is autistic”: FALSE

A few years back, people used to blame parents and especially mothers to be responsible for their children’s autistic problems: a would-be communicative problem or being a careless mum. Causes of autism had to be searched out within the unconscious.

You have to avoid people who tell you so. We have to stop making mothers feel guilty and let them see things the way they are: autism is a handicap with which the child was born. It is neither a result of ill-treatment nor a disease that he contracted.

“I don’t want you to know how therapy sessions are running”: BAD

My son’s first speech therapist used to tell me that: if I knew how the sessions were running, I was going to “train” my child to the “stimuli” he needs to know and the reactions he should have. Although this argument could stand for a normal child, it just couldn’t for my son. It is clear that this therapist didn’t understand how much effort the parents need to make to help their autistic child progress.

If therapists don’t want to tell you how sessions are going, you’d better change teams! I definitely don’t mean to spend each time, half an hour asking for details about every activity. Yet, there should be a certain amount of communication: tell what is done at regular intervals, whether there is any improvement achieved and what has to be done at home to help the child progress. If they don’t want to tell you anything, ever, it is shady; and if I were you, I would end up being very careful.

Your child’s institution is not specialized in autism: STOP!

The team of therapists has to work under the guidance of someone who is proficient in autism, especially if they lack experience with this handicap. An institution that takes in many children with different handicaps may not adopt the suitable approach for your autistic child despite their good will.

If you can’t place your child in a suitable institution, try to see private professionals (fees are refunded, except for psychomotor therapy). Then, you can evaluate the work that has been done, the progress that has been achieved. For that you must choose the team with which you want to work carefully.

All the activities that end with –therapy aren’t therapies: BEWARE!

I’m sure that these types of activities won’t do any harm to your child: music therapy, horse riding therapy… However, they mustn’t be on the expense of a serious care. It is better to consider such activities the way they are: entertaining activities that help your child get calmer, find out about new things and to open his/her heart to the world. They shouldn’t replace speech therapy sessions or psychomotor therapy.

Translation: Sihem